The Hermit: Rules for a new paradigm
The number of people who choose to live alone in the United Kingdom is at an all-time high, if the statistics are to be believed. The collapse of civilization as we know it? Civilizations have been created and destroyed for thousands of years, so there is nothing new here. Many get married, even if marriage as an institution has been in decline for many years. People are also having sex, if the rising number of terminations is anything to go by, and the increase in STDs, so it is not as if they are involved in relationships either.
Many women who have been hurt in love no longer trust men. Closer examination usually reveals that the truth is that they no longer trust themselves to find the right man, which is something entirely different. Of course, men are quite likely to feel the same way. Why are relationships so difficult? Traditionalists point to the laxity of moral standards; the Pill, the easing of divorce laws, and greater tolerance of children born out of wedlock as evidence of a lack of responsibility and stability in relationships. Many children have been brought up with a number of men who were not their biological fathers, so they no longer have the stability of a single role model. Then there are the number of women who choose to get pregnant but have no intention of maintaining a relationship with the father.
Commitment problems
Then of course is the ‘C’ word, commitment, traditionally a fear of men, but these days women suffer just as much.
I suppose in part, we have higher standards, and they are more choosey about their partners. This is very likely to be the case with people who follow a more spiritual path. When we are in a happy stable relationships God is not uppermost in their mind – why should they? And of course when the relationship goes pear-shaped, their first reaction is often to turn to God. “Why?” Was the Omnipresent having a fit of pique at being ignored? I somehow doubt it.
For many years, ever since I have read the Tarot, I have rarely seen a client who is happy in their relationship. To be honest, when it does happen, I am often at a loss about what to say, particularly if nothing else seems to be wrong. Even following a path of spiritual development can be fraught with dangers, because if one partner is evolving, and the other is not, distance will inevitably develop, pressure rises, and the relationship can fail. If both partners are on the spiritual path, it is still not easy to develop at the same level, or the same pace. The roles within a relationship can become more dynamic and flexible. Who is the teacher, and who is the student? When do these roles change?
Problems finding a partner
Amongst my friends and colleagues, lack of a partner is very common. I know some who are desperate to get hitched and have children; they have their own house, a car, are intelligent, compassionate, caring, committed, generous, good looking, etc, etc, and yet they cannot find a partner. Other friends are looking for the perfect relationship, or they are working out karma, or resolving issues that can be an impediment to relationships developing. Genes might be selfish, but surely spiritual development and growth should make us more attractive?
At the rate things are going, the increasing percentage of the population who follow a spiritual path and do not breed will result in the mass extermination of the genes that carry the noblest sentiments of humanity. This is hardly an evolutionary trend, no matter what Richard Dawkins says.
Until years after I met my teacher, I kind of expected my life to be rather monkish, but I was thrown into the dubious world of fortune telling, where giving advice on situations I have not experienced is the norm. I was to be in the World, not be part of it. I was to be discriminative in what I did, and who I hanged out with. Spiritual development was no longer meditation, or staying in isolation, but living in the real world. After all, sitting up a mountain, or living alone in the desert, with food brought regularly to you, it is very easy to spend time contemplating on God and The Nature of Reality. Try doing the same on a busy seafront full of holidaymakers. And yet, that is what happened to me, and I had plenty of time to contemplate my navel, usually between waiting for readings.
Confidentiality in a Tarot reading
In this increasingly regimented world we live in where there are laws for everything, and the entire population is considered to be guilty of crime somewhere or another, where Big Brother is the most popular platform for voting, and we have cameras watching our every move. We assume all our emails and phone calls are intercepted and logged. Our spending patterns are analysed. Our civil liberties are eroded because of the War on Terror, for which we are supposed to be grateful, since there is nothing to be fearful of. Yeah. I never understood that one either. Still, when people come for a reading, they do not tell me their name, address, National Insurance Number, or any other kind of ID, and I can still do my job. The reading is confidential, which allows us both to be more honest than we otherwise could be. Tarot readers are in many senses outside society, as witnessed by our supposed ancestors, the gypsies.
Having greater spiritual awareness, higher standards, and a reluctance to marry any Tom Dick or Harriet, thereby not doing our sacred duty of continuing the Human Race, along with the ability to see through the diktats of our illustrious politicians, social commentators and religious leaders, is surely a recipe for disaster. I expect our governments to rush through legislation immediately.
Inner Knowledge
Resolving the internal conflicts created by such a life is never easy. I have searched for a solution for many years. My favourite is the Hermit, the key to inner knowledge.
Wander alone; bearing the Light and thy Staff,
And be the Light so bright that no man seeth thee.
Be not moved by aught without or within:
keep Silence in all ways.
Illumination from within, secret impulse from within; practical plans derived so. Retirement from participation in current events.
The divinatory meaning, of retirement from society, is entirely explicable to tarot readers. The Hermit exemplifies Greta Garbo’s plea of wanting to be alone. Look at the Hollywood superstars who, once they find fame and fortune, spend vast of amounts of money on trying to keep and keep up their privacy, having already sold out to be public property. Having money does not solve the problem either.
And then there are those of us who are in many respects inwardly a Hermit, while still holding down a job, finding a partner, and generally finding themselves seeing the world in a way vastly different to everyone else. We are smarter; we know how to cover our tracks, and appear outwardly like everyone else. People like me, a professional Tarot Reader, have had to come out, but nobody takes notice of Tarot readers, do they? We could always join up with something Alternative, and wear ethnic clothes, drink ethical coffee, but do we need another label?
Creativity is a solitary pursuit
Being creative is often a solitary activity. Writers need their space, as do artists. Solitude is often fundamental to creativity. How do you hear yourself think in today’s cacophony? Paradoxically, as we try to withdraw from society, we find society following us! Society needs us!
The roots of the problem lies in our understanding of the Hermit, or Anchorite, living alone in a cave, railing at society, having nothing to do with the mores of the general populace, while usually quite happy to accept food. In the West, people who isolate themselves from society are cranks and nutters to be despised or feared. We have raised the concept of isolationism into a freak show, as shown by the manipulations of psychologists and broadcasters with programs such as Big Brother.
Hermits join up with other Hermits to create Monasteries, in our great Western Christian Tradition. In medieval times, a Nunnery was often a stones throw away, with a tunnel between the two so piety could continue, while Nuns and Monks cavorted, got pregnant and quietly disposed of the evidence later. Ah, the hypocrisy of it all.
The importance of Self-awareness
Unfortunately, our Western perception of Hermetism is clouded by Christianity itself, and its roots go back to asceticism. Jesus preached on the value of poverty but the church became increasingly wealthy. The Desert Fathers in the first century AD were a problem to the Church, since they had a path to Salvation, which is supposed to come only through the priests. What is remarkable is that these Desert Fathers, with their spiritual powers, and isolation from society, were best equipped to dispense advice, both temporal and spiritual, to the common people.
Paradoxically, these men and women who fled from human society developed, in their solitude, a uniquely subtle awareness of human psychology. They lay bare the self-deceptions we all practise. They teach us why it is important to be self-aware and how we can come to know ourselves. The sins they struggle against are the thoughts and deeds that undermine human integrity, and the methods they use in the fight are the ones which can lead us all to spiritual and psychological health.
Peter France, Hermits
It would seem that these Hermits had little to say on their spiritual experiences, but they more than made up for this with their courtesy, politeness and consideration to the people they came into contact with. The fame of many of these hermits grew to the point where people from all over the country would flock to them for advice. The advice often appeared contradictory, because as they would point out, the advice was primarily for the situation of that particular person, and not necessarily for everyone.
Remarkably, along with the development of inner wisdom, knowledge and spiritual experience through isolation, whether one wants it or not, often results in recognition from the rest of society, who do not have those insights. We no longer have to apologise, or feel at odds with the rest of society. We have a fundamental duty to develop our internal Hermit, while maintaining our external life. Paradoxically it is possible to be a hermit while living in society. We can maintain our Inner Silence, topped up regularly by prayer, meditation or solitude, or spending time with our friends of a similar mind, and deal with people, helping them, showing consideration, or simply by listening or having the time for them.
Historically, Hermits were few and far between. Maybe the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, or whatever term is now fashionable, will be marked by the appearance of large numbers of the population, whose inner direction shines through. I think they are already here, but they are unaware of their status. For those of us who are aware, and have been through the teething problems, we can now do more to help the nascent hermits who will continue to live in society. Transcending dogma will be a sign of advancement, along with the ability to be comfortable with whatever belief system people are comfortable with.
Technology aids the Hermit
A characteristic of the Modern Hermit is being comfortable with technology, comfortable with having different viewpoints to the rest of society. Some Hermits will make a stand, whether political, social, or in the fields of entertainment, and some no doubt will be martyrs for whatever cause they appear to be associated with. The Hermits of today will be familiar with the innumerable systems of self-help available today. They may well be able to use these systems without having gone through the formal stages of learning these systems. Hermits will have the ability to spontaneously use the right word, or gesture, or silence to start the process of spiritual growth in someone. Sometimes this will be a seed that takes many years to germinate, while in others the difference is ready to notice to themselves and others.
Sometimes a Hermit will notice another Hermit simply by a comment or look made in a conversation between groups of people. Like ships in the night, the acknowledgement will be barely perceptible, but it has been recognised. By its very definition, Hermits do not need to create formal groups – therein lies our strengths. The characteristic of the work of the Hermit is that people go to him or her; not the other way round. However, people do know how to find them.
The role of the Tarot Reader already comprises a lot of the work of the Hermit. There are Tarot Readers who are unready, unwilling, or unable to be Hermits, and that is as it should be. We are all here to learn, and people have to learn discrimination. Life is a stern disciplinarian and teacher. The common perception of a tarot reader is to predict the future, but often the value is in giving hope, guidance, inspiration, confidence, and most importantly self-belief.
What I am talking about here is a pastoral role, a form of outreach.
And what of relationships? When we are accepting and comfortable with our role as Hermit in society, we will find ways of making relationships work, and who knows, we will find ways of making and bringing up baby hermits of our own.